Silencers: In appearance v. content for women speakers, guess which wins?

There are all sorts of things that can silence a woman speaker, from audience or online trolls and hecklers to the conference organizers who keep her off the program. But for truly deafening silence around a woman's speech, there's nothing like her outfit or her hairstyle to do the trick.

That's what it felt like as recently as last week, when I posted this mini-rant on The Eloquent Woman page on Facebook, one that thousands saw and interacted with:


Clinton spoke at the Vital Voices Global Leadership Awards on International Women's Day, wearing red as did many women in support of A Day Without a Woman, on the same day. But you could read more about her wispy bangs than about the content of her speech in much of the coverage.

And attorney Amal Clooney, speaking at the United Nations on the very next day, on the serious topic of launching a formal investigation of human rights crimes committed by ISIS, was primarily covered not for her topic of substance, but for wearing yellow and for showing her "baby bump." Clooney, who is pregnant, was thus reduced to being the baby-carrying wife of actor George Clooney, despite her strong speech.

Then we learned that actor Angelina Jolie "looked chic" as she spoke at the London School of Economics Centre for Women, Peace and Security, on her work at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

What, no content? Angelina Jolie looks chic as she delivers empowering speech at London School of Economics https://t.co/BtA71RSC7x

— Denise Graveline (@dontgetcaught) March 15, 2017

I've noted before how Dee Dee Myers, former press secretary to President Bill Clinton, has said that a bad hair day can be a "virtual mute button" for a woman speaker. But it appears, really, that all it takes to silence the woman speaker is to focus on her hair. Or her outfit.

This is another persistent and durable silencer that women have been facing for centuries. Consider this take from an exhibit on in Paris just now, about fashion for women during World War I, nearly a century ago: "if the war accelerated modernization already underway, fashion also reflected profound anxiety about women’s liberation." We're seeing that anxiety about three powerful women today, and it gets in the way of a further power they are wielding, public speaking.

In coming weeks, we'll have a substantive speech of Clooney's featured in our Famous Speech Friday series, and of course, Clinton and Jolie are already have speeches featured here. I wish more media outlets would focus on their content instead of their appearance, but we'll continue to make content the focus for women speakers featured here on The Eloquent Woman.

(UN Photo of Clooney by Rick Bajornas)

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

The Eloquent Woman's weekly speaker toolkit

Savvy speakers keep up with my wide-ranging reading list on women and public speaking by following The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where these links and articles appear first. I always collect them here for you on Mondays as well. It's a great way to expand your public speaking knowledge:

• This is your body on stress, speakers: From head to toe, stress--such as the stress you feel before and during public speaking--really does a number on all parts of your body. Here's a good breakdown of what's happening to you under stress.
• Perfect for Women's History Month: Susan B. Anthony's typewriter, on which many speeches were written.
• AnticipaTED: TED's 2017 speaker lineup is out. Fewer than half of the speakers are women.
• Did you miss? This week, the blog looked at how you can be the only presenter who stands out with a TED-quality talk, and Famous Speech Friday shared California State Senator Janet Nguyen's silencing. Maybe we should change this feature to Famous Silencing Friday?
• Join me in London April 3 for my one-day workshop, Creating a TED-Quality Talk. It works for speakers, speechwriters, and anyone who wants to elevate their presenting in this way.
• About the pin:  I think "Found My Voice" may be my favorite new pin. From Emily McDowell Studio's "Everyday Bravery" collection.

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

Famous Speech Friday: California State Senator Janet Nguyen's silencing

Maybe we should change this to Famous Silencing Friday? Yet another woman legislator--this time, a Republican state senator in California--was silenced mid-speech on the floor of her legislature in late February.

Senator Janet Nguyen, a Vietnamese immigrant to the U.S. who fled her country as a child, rose days after a tribute by the California senate to Tom Hayden, a Vietnam war activist who also served in the state legislature; Hayden died last year. But Nguyen rose to protest the tribute, first in her native language, then in English. Not until she spoke in English did her intent become clear to her colleagues. Here's how she began:

I and the children of the former South Vietnam soldiers will never forget the support of former Senator Tom Hayden for the Communist government of Vietnam and the oppression by the Communist Government of Vietnam for the people of Vietnam. 

After 40 years, the efforts by people like him have hurt the people of Vietnam and have worked to stop the Vietnamese refugees from coming to the United States, a free country. We will always continue to fight for freedom and human rights for the people of Vietnam.

Nguyen tried to continue speaking, but a male senator rose to object on a point of order procedural complaint, which was taken up by the presiding officer, who repeatedly called her out of order, drowning out her remarks. Finally, he had her removed by security officers, effectively ending her speech.

Because all that was caught on video (below), it quickly went viral. The #shepersisted hashtag that emerged after U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren was silenced in the Senate was revived, and at the state's Republican convention the following weekend, "I stand with Janet" stickers were distributed.

There's a theme here, for the dudes in power: Silencing women speakers, even when you fall back on procedure, is just going to backfire, and spread their words further. And while the state senate's president pro tempore said he took responsibility for making sure this didn't happen again, Nguyen reminded everyone that it wasn't just she but her constituents who were silenced. From the New York Times article: "My constituents are extremely upset,” said Ms. Nguyen, who represents a part of Orange County with a large Vietnamese population. “They’re upset that their voices were shut down.”

You can read the full text of her speech here; thanks to the controversy, it received far more circulation than it might have done, or did in the senate. Below is the video of Sen. Nguyen's start of her speech and her removal.


Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

Be the only presenter who stands out with a truly TED-quality talk

In the past few years, I've coached scores of speakers who want to make a big change in their public speaking and presenting style by giving talks in the style of TED. As they march out with their new skills, many of these executives--from Fortune 100 companies, private philanthropies, major nonprofits, health systems, and more--are finding out firsthand that there are lots of misunderstandings and misinterpretations of this popular public-speaking style.

Some speakers get out from behind the lectern, but give their regular talk, loaded with slides and no storytelling. Some think they must tell a personal story, or only a personal story. I've even heard about corporations that handed out a template for a TED-style presentation, even though actual TED talks don't follow a template. The TEDx and TEDMED speakers I coach every year can tell you: These talks aren't business-presentations-as-usual, and they take work to pull off successfully. Why mimic TED style when you can craft a compelling talk that meets TED quality?

Here's one example from a recent trainee who has given his new talk in front of audiences numbering in the hundreds:

I followed your guidance and got great feedback.  Though the session was billed as “TED talks” I was the only one who really followed the TED-talk approach and I think it made a big difference. The coaching was very helpful for that.

Another trainee in this style said:

Of the four keynote speakers, I was the only one who kept my talk under 20 minutes, and clearly the only one who understood what does and doesn't mean 'TED-style.' As a result, I had time left for questions--something none of the other keynotes had--and the audience loved it.

If you want to learn the more effective way to speak in this style, I've got a workshop coming up in London on April 3.  All you need to do is bring your one big idea for a talk in the style of TED. You'll learn how to plan, write, time, practice, and deliver a talk or presentation that really meets the level of TED quality. This workshop is suitable for both speechwriters and speakers, and you don't need to have a talk prepared for the workshop--instead, you'll learn what you need to do to prepare it effectively.

Instead of cheating on the parameters of TED-style talks, why not borrow the sentiment of a previous attendee, whose goal was to "Rock it TED-style when co-presenting with read-off-the-slide PowerPoint users." Now that's a public speaking goal! Join us in April in London. Seats are filling, so register soon!

(Creative Commons licensed photo by Lawrence Wang)

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

The Eloquent Woman's weekly speaker toolkit

Savvy speakers keep up with my wide-ranging reading list on women and public speaking by following The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where these links and articles appear first. I always collect them here for you on Mondays as well. It's a great way to expand your public speaking knowledge:

• No, and I mean it: A slight change of verbs gets you to the most effective way to say "no" to things you don't want to do.
• Help! In this video, Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi talks about presentations as one area where women can help other women.
• Equal opportunity: In the European Parliament's debate on equal pay, a male member made misogynistic remarks...and his female colleague came right back at him: 
An argument erupts in European... - Telegraph Politics
• Did you miss? This week, the blog looked at Gabby Giffords, women speakers, and the courage to face public audiences, and Famous Speech Friday shared Viola Davis's 2017 Oscar acceptance speech.
• Join me in London April 3 for my one-day workshop, Creating a TED-Quality Talk. It works for speakers, speechwriters, and anyone who wants to elevate their presenting in this way. Get some tips in my post, What you can learn from an outstanding TED talk, on Ragan.com.
• About the quote: Wisdom from Shailene Woodley. Find more quotes like this one on our Pinterest board of great quotes by eloquent women.

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

Famous Speech Friday: Viola Davis accepts an historic 2017 Oscar

It's no secret that I consider actor Viola Davis to be among the best speakers around, featured as she has been five times so far in The Eloquent Woman Index of Famous Speeches by Women. And this week's acceptance speech by Davis at the Academy Awards--for best supporting actress in a feature film--brings her entries here to six.

The speech has a level of electricity that's unusual in awards acceptance speeches. Davis enjoys speaking and storytelling, and famously does not prepare her remarks by writing them down, although she certainly thinks about what she would say. But by the time she stepped onto the stage, what emerged is as beautifully "written" as if the best speechwriters had crafted it. On top of that, Davis layered a delivery packed with obvious emotion and power, so much so that her jaded Hollywood audience was in tears by the end.

Why? The speech was historic: With this Oscar, Davis became the first black woman to win an Emmy, a Tony, and an Oscar for acting, and only the 23rd person overall to do so. It elevated the acting profession for a brief and powerful moment. And with humility and passion, it thanked her colleagues and her loved ones with specificity and memory. The speech was short, but jam-packed with content. Here's a complete transcript:

Thank you to the Academy. You know, there's one place that all the people with the greatest potential are gathered. One place, and that's the graveyard. People ask me all the time, what kind of stories do you want to tell, Viola? And I say, exhume those bodies. Exhume those stories. The stories of the people who dreamed big and never saw those dreams to fruition. People who fell in love and lost. I became an artist—and thank God I did—because we are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life. 

So, here's to August Wilson, who exhumed and exalted the ordinary people. And to Bron Pictures, Paramount, Macro, Todd Black, Molly Allen, Scott Rudin for being the cheerleaders for a movie that is about people. And words. And life and forgiveness and grace. And to Michael T. Williamson, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Russell Hornsby, Jovan Adepo, Saniya Sidney, for being the most wonderful artists I've ever worked with. And oh captain, my captain, Denzel Washington. Thank you for putting two entities in the driving seat: August and God. And they served you well. And to Dan and Mary Alice Davis, who were and are the center of my universe, the people who taught me good or bad, how to fail, how to love, how to hold an award, how to lose. My parents―I'm so thankful that God chose you to bring me into this world. To my sisters, my sister Dolores, we were rich white women in the tea party games. Thank you for the imagination. And to my husband and my daughter. My heart, you and Genesis. You teach me every day how to live, how to love, I'm so glad that you are the foundation of my life. Thank you to the Academy. Thank you.

After she spoke, Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel joked that she should win an Emmy for that speech, and the coverage after the show singled this speech out, again and again, as the best of the evening on an evening of many surprises. What can you learn from this famous speech?

• Start strong, and with a surprise: I can't say it better than this take on the speech in The Atlantic: "Davis’s speech quickly went viral and received wide acclaim for a lot of reasons, and prime among them was simply good writing. She opened with a question and gave an answer few would have guessed. She exploited the power of surprise, a power demonstrated amply elsewhere at the Oscars." Speakers, we're tired of you telling us what you're going to tell us. Surprise us a little. When the audience doesn't know where you're going, it has to pay attention, and Davis, knowing this, had them right in the palm of her hand from the get-go.
• Every speech has a job to do, and this one fulfilled all its jobs admirably, from thanking the Academy right at the start--lest one forget to do so--to specifically thanking, without notes, some 18 people and companies by name. This may sound or feel like a boring chore, but Davis turns it into a delight by being specific and heartfelt.
• Tell us why we're really here: You can look at most Hollywood awards ceremonies as if they were a typical industry awards banquet, with better clothes and brighter stars involved. You could say this was just a night to dress up and pick up your award. But, as at any industry banquet, a speaker also can elevate the proceedings by reminding the audience why they are really gathered, in this case, to celebrate the storytelling film can do and the lives it can shed light upon.

(Oscars photo)

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.

Gabby Giffords, women speakers, & the courage to face public audiences

There are all sorts of reasons why women speakers need courage, and unlike most observers, I don't think the reason lies within them inherently. But I do know that society has been helping women internalize the idea that they shouldn't speak in public for centuries. It was first codified in the works of Cicero, who outlined what excellence looks like in public speaking, which he considered a solely male province, according to the custom of his time. Over the centuries, women have been punished for talking "too much," using public torture devices in medieval times or simply by keeping them off the conference agenda in today's world. They've been told they would not be able to bear children, be actual women, or be seen as anything other than a slut, all concepts that today are boiled down as "who does she think she is, up there?" And just last week in America, a famous football player told an elementary school classroom that girls should be "silent, polite, gentle," even as he urged the boys to speak up.

But the most extreme silencer is death, or an attempt at killing the woman speaker, something that both Malala Yousafzai and Gabrielle Giffords have endured, and survived. Both were shot in the head, and both have had varied success in their subsequent speaking. But no one can doubt the courage they have shown--not just in withstanding the attacks, but in coming back to speak again.

That's why I had to smile last week when, in the wake of members of the U.S. Congress simply running away from scheduled town-hall meetings with angry constituents, our representatives were taken to task by none other than their former colleague, Giffords. One member of Congress suggested that the crowds might become violent, as part of his reasoning to stay away, citing the Giffords shooting as an example. But she was having none of that. In a statement, Giffords told fleeing members of Congress to "have some courage." Here's the statement:

Town halls and countless constituent meetings were a hallmark of my tenure in Congress. It’s how I was able to serve the people of southern Arizona. I believed that listening to my constituents was the most basic and core tenet of the job I was hired to do. 

I was shot on a Saturday morning. By Monday morning my offices were open to the public. Ron Barber – at my side that Saturday, who was shot multiple times, then elected to Congress in my stead – held town halls. It’s what the people deserve in a representative. 

In the past year, campaigning for gun safety, I have held over 50 public events. 

Many of the members of Congress who are refusing to hold town halls and listen to their constituents concerns are the very same politicians that have opposed commonsense gun violence prevention policies and have allowed the Washington gun lobby to threaten the safety of law enforcement and everyday citizens in our schools, businesses, places of worship, airports, and movie theaters. 

To the politicians who have abandoned their civic obligations, I say this: Have some courage. Face your constituents. Hold town halls.

This isn't just political for Giffords. Courage has been a theme of her speaking since the shooting, and you can see it in her TEDWomen talk from 2014. Most of her appearance was a seated interview with her husband, astronaut Mark Kelly, and TEDWomen host Pat Mitchell. Mitchell asked what her biggest challenge has been since the shooting. Giffords and then Kelly answered:

GG: Talking. Really hard. Really. 

MK: Yeah, with aphasia, Gabby knows what she wants to say, she just can't get it out. She understands everything, but the communication is just very difficult because when you look at the picture, the part of your brain where those communication centers are are on the left side of your head, which is where the bullet passed through.

That takes courage, just to persist in speaking. At the end of the interview, Giffords gave what may be the shortest talk ever at TED, proscribed by her aphasia. Here's what she said:

Thank you. Hello, everyone. Thank you for inviting us here today. It's been a long, hard haul, but I'm getting better. I'm working hard, lots of therapy — speech therapy, physical therapy, and yoga too. But my spirit is strong as ever. I'm still fighting to make the world a better place, and you can too. Get involved with your community. Be a leader. Set an example. Be passionate. Be courageous. Be your best. Thank you very much.

They are words from which any eloquent woman--and perhaps more public officials--can take inspiration. Watch the talk here or below. And if you need tips on facing an angry crowd, from congressional town halls to your next talk, you'll find them on my other blog, don't get caught.

Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly: Be passionate. Be courageous. Be your best.

(Creative Commons licensed photo by TED Conference)

Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter or track when others tweet about the lack of women speakers on programs via @NoWomenSpeakers. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.