I read a lot about women and public speaking, and post my finds first on The Eloquent Woman on Facebook. But I always collect them here for you on Mondays as well. Here's what I've been reading lately:
Trolls. In your face: Anita Sarkeesian is a frequently trolled speaker--her topic is sexism in video gaming--and this must-read explains just what that feels like for this seasoned speaker. Uncomfortable read, but essential.
Hovercraft for speakers: A public-speaking woman must be dangerous if her husband has to hover over her while she gives a speech...in this case, Melania and Donald Trump.
Another silencer: The new White House communications director undercut his press secretary by suggesting she needed more hair and makeup help--on national TV. When we're directed to consider a woman's appearance, research shows, we view her as less competent.
Perhaps you do not expect a keynote address from a high-level international symposium on coastal resilience, a climate change issue, to make the cut for Famous Speech Friday, even if it is given by the wife of the Prime Ministerr of Japan, Akie Abe.
But this 2014 speech, given at the Ford Foundation in New York, recently made headlines after U.S. President Donald Trump gave an interview to the New York Times and brought up his dinner partner at a G20 summit of world--and her English skills. From the interview transcript:
TRUMP: So, I was seated next to the wife of Prime Minister Abe [Shinzo Abe of Japan], who I think is a terrific guy, and she’s a terrific woman, but doesn’t speak English. HABERMAN: Like, nothing, right? Like zero? TRUMP: Like, not “hello.” HABERMAN: That must make for an awkward seating. TRUMP: Well, it’s hard, because you know, you’re sitting there for—— HABERMAN: Hours. TRUMP: So the dinner was probably an hour and 45 minutes.
Where does the speech come in? Within hours of the interview being posted, the speech--delivered in fluent English, except for the short reading of a poem in Japanese--surfaced on the Internet. This led observers to the conclusion that the First Lady of Japan may have pretended not to speak English to avoid interacting with Trump.
But Women in the World pointed out that Abe had already met in more intimate settings with the President and First Lady of the U.S. on a state visit to America, having numerous conversations with each of them. Since neither Trump speaks Japanese, we might conclude that everyone spoke English. If so, Trump has managed to not only lie about her English skills, but to dismiss and silence the first lady of Japan by suggesting she is not the multilingual leader that she really is.
As for Abe, some observers suggest the snub during dinner was intentional, and a form of "nasty woman" pushback against Trump--speaking, whether during dinner or into a microphone, being a choice women can exercise. From The Guardian:
But these smaller acts of defiance – whether a handshake ignored or a conversation avoided – are significant too, performed as they are by women on the world stage. Such snubs are not the actions of mutely servile political wives but sentient, ideologically engaged women who are making their feelings known in the best way that they can.
Laying aside for the moment why a U.S. president needs to insult the wife of another world leader, what about the talk? Speaking from the perspective of a nation that experienced a major tsunami, Abe talked about the sea rise and the proposals to build gigantic 48-foot-tall sea walls, discussing the pros and cons of the proposal without advocating for one or the other. She advocated a preference for balanced approaches that dealt not only with the concerns of the moment, but future impacts. What can you learn from this famous speech?
Make use of poetry: Abe takes the time to read a short poem in Japanese, "so you can sense its distinct rhythm," since the Japanese language is nothing if not rhythmic at its heart. She then translates it as "The forest is longing for the sea/The sea is longing for the forest." It's a moment of connection and color in this speech, something you can emulate in your next speech. I'll be adding this one to our list of 7 famous poetic speeches by women.
Connect the poetry to the policy: The sea walls, of course, would separate the forest from the sea. Early in her speech, she describes Kensennuma, an area hard hit by the tsunami. Before the disaster, it was known for its seafood. Abe noted "the fish and shellfish, fresh and tasty as they may be, are dependent upon the land, or more precisely, the nourishment flowing downstream into the inlet from the mountain forests. Without them, the woods in the mountains, the water in the inlet cannot become enriched, and cannot grow its famous oysters. In Kesennuma at one point there emerged a group of oyster farmers who take the sea-mountain interplay so seriously that they took to the shore and began planting trees in the mountains."
Have a non-standard start and finish: So often, our public officials are talked into pro forma, typical, throat-clearing starts and mundane endings for their speeches. Not so here. Abe begins with "Among the many problems Japan faces, there is only one, at least to tell you about today." Yes, that gets your attention. And her ending--"Please give us your wisdom and ideas"--is perfect for a conference of experts. Starts and endings are places to be strong, to give emphasis, and to alert the audience of what's ahead in your speech and in the discussion to follow. Don't waste them on trivialities.
In short, it was a poetic, nuanced, smart policy speech...in fluent English.
Abe's remarks begin at about the 2:18 mark in the video below:
If this blog has a mission beyond making sure everyone gets the skills they need to be a great public speaker, it's this: Women speakers, whether they're giving a speech or speaking up in a workplace meeting, need to know about the silencers being deployed against them, and how to get over, around, and through them. And Donald Trump's recent sexist ploys--one violently graphic about TV presenter Mika Brzezinski, one flirty and coy with Irish journalist Caitriona Perry--are good demonstrations of this very common technique.
The incidents are two sides of the same coin. Two decades ago, a pair of social psychologists, Susan Fiske and Peter Glick, distinguished between what they called “hostile” and “benevolent” sexism. Hostile sexism manifests itself in derogatory or threatening comments about a woman’s appearance, capacities, or behavior. Benevolent sexism, by contrast, manifests itself in praise or chivalry that nonetheless reaffirms a woman’s subordinate status. Telling your female coworker that she’s ugly is an expression of hostile sexism. Telling your female coworker that she’s pretty is an expression of benevolent sexism. Sexually assaulting a female colleague is an expression of hostile sexism. Suggesting that a female colleague needs help carrying her bags is an expression of benevolent sexism. Hostile sexism may be more antagonistic and aggressive but benevolent sexism also conveys the message that women should be valued for their appearance, and that they are not equal to men.
The more a woman conforms to traditional gender norms, the more likely she is to experience benevolent sexism. The more she threatens them, the more likely she is to experience hostile sexism.
Though one is labeled "benevolent," neither type of sexism is kind or nice. The article goes on to note that both are expressions of male power. And I would add that they tend to have the effect of silencing women, for a variety of reasons. The man (or sometimes the woman) is counting on you to not "make things difficult" by objecting, and with benevolent sexism, may be trying to get you to thank him for doing it...so the focus is no longer on what you might want to say. You may not wish to draw the attention to yourself that the comments or action are drawing to you. You may just want it to stop. And you also know that bringing it up won't win you lots of friends, male or female. So you stay silent. In a hostile work environment, where benevolent and hostile sexism are rampant, you may silence yourself simply to avoid unwanted attention or being shut out of opportunity in the industry. This New York Times article on women in the tech industry coming forward about sexual harrassment puts it bluntly: "Saying anything, the women were warned, would lead to ostracism." The author also shares why a focus on a woman's appearance--hair, makeup, facial or body features, and wardrobe--are effective as silencers, as we've seen recently with Hillary Clinton, Amal Clooney, and Angelina Jolie. From the article:
Viscerally, Trump likely understands what the research shows: that focusing people’s attention on a woman’s appearance makes them value her abilities less. For a 2009 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Nathan Heflick and Jamie Goldenberg asked one group of college students to write about Sarah Palin’s appearance and another to write about her “human essence.” Then both groups were asked a series of questions about her. The students who had written about her appearance rated her as less competent. In a different study, participants told to focus on Michelle Obama’s looks deemed her less competent, too.
Wonder no longer why U.S. Senators like Hillary Clinton or Kirsten Gillibrand have favored wearing the same black pantsuits over and over. They want their competency out front, not this brand of sexism.
Savvy speakers keep up with my wide-ranging reading list on women and public speaking by following The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where these links and articles appear first. I always collect them here for you on Mondays as well. It's a great way to expand your public speaking knowledge:
Style me for speaking: Wardrobe Oxygen has a good series on what it's like to work with a personal stylist. She did so here for a major fashion blogger conference she was attending, but many speakers consult stylists for high-stakes talks like TED and TEDMED and TEDx talks.
More documentation that women speakers are overlooked: Yet another study in which we learn that a particular scientific specialty (here, neuroimmunology) tends to choose male speakers over women...
(Editor's note: Leonoor Russell, a speechwriter from the Netherlands, calls this speech "a joy to watch," something we often forget about speeches. They can be fun, funny, and joyous, even in a staid parliament setting. I asked Russell to write about this speech for Famous Speech Friday.)
Malala Yousafzai - to many simply known as 'Malala' - is a Pakistani activist for female education. At age 11 she started writing a blog for the BBC about her life during the Taliban occupation. Originally, the blog was anonymous. But in the three years that followed she started doing more and more public performances, which led the New York Times to do a documentary on her.
Her public criticism of the Taliban's restrictions on girls' primary education caused Malala to receive various death threats. In 2012, a Taliban gunman shot her in the head as she rode home on a bus after taking an exam. The attempted murder was unsuccessful, but nevertheless left her very badly injured.
A traumatising event like this would silence the bravest of hearts; but instead Malala chose to let her voice sound louder than ever before. She continued her activism and started giving speeches all around the world. At age 17, Malala became the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate.
Last April, the Canadian government awarded Malala an honorary Canadian citizenship. In a moving, inspirational (and funny!) speech to the Canadian House of Commons, Malala accepts this rare honor. The speech is a joy to watch.
The speech touches on a number of highly political issues.
On immigration: "Welcome to Canada is more than a headline or a hash tag. It is the spirit of humanity that every single one of us would yearn for, if our family was in crisis. I pray that you continue to open your homes and your hearts to the world's most defenceless children and families — and I hope your neighbours will follow your example."
On education: "Education is vital for security around the world because extremism grows alongside inequality — in places where people feel they have no opportunity, no voice, no hope."
On emancipation: "We can gain peace, grow economies, improve our public health and the air that we breathe. Or we can lose another generation of girls."
Her most important message: "I used to think I had to wait to be an adult to lead. But I've learned that even a child's voice can be heard around the world."
What can we learn from this magnificent speech?
Be in control of the situation. After about 5 standing ovations in 10 minutes, Malala warns the audience that she is only on page 7 of her speech; so that they had better pace themselves before they get tired. A brilliant tongue-in-cheek remark that immediately puts her in control of the situation. She alone sets the pace for her speech and determines when and where there will be a pause. A remark like that requires confidence. What we can learn from this is that when you radiate confidence on stage, you put the audience at ease. Your listeners will feel comfortable, knowing that the speaker is in full control of the situation.
Don't be afraid to keep it light. Despite the many weighty issues she addresses, Malala still manages to keep the speech light. She hilariously refers to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's age, tattoos and yoga-practice. She then uses her joke to make a serious point: "While it may be true that he is young for a head of government, I would like to tell the children of Canada: you do not have to be as old as Prime Minister Trudeau to be a leader!" By doing this, Malala manages to strike the perfect balance between playful gags and sincere gravitas.
Write from the heart, speak with skill. This is a skill I had never recognised as such until Denise pointed it out to me in a speech from Michelle Obama. Showing emotion when you talk about personal experiences in a speech is a good thing, but you must always make sure you don't let that emotion distract from your main message. It is better to put your emotions in when you are preparing the text in advance. But when you read it out loud, you must to so with skill and tact. The audience will know a heartfelt message when they hear it.
Malala masters this to a T. She refers to the fear she felt when she used to go to school and how she would hide the books under her scarf. When her mother tears up, Malala continues with a steady voice. This is impressive, given the horrible experiences that she has had to endure. (And don’t get me started on the fact that she is 19 years old and standing in a foreign parliamentary plenary hall filled with dignitaries.)
I hope to listen to many more of Malala’s speeches in the future.
Denise adds: Don't miss the amazing opening, after her thanks to various dignitaries. You can see the full text of Malala's speech, and watch the video here or below. You'll have to wait for three ads, but the speech is worth it:
Hillary Clinton took her break after the 2016 election, then emerged slowly, an outing here, a speech there. But around the time of U.S. university commencements--a time when speech-making is especially frequent for leaders of all kinds--I started noticing the jabs suggesting she should, well, shut up.
I wasn't surprised, but I was pleased that some others started to notice. In Why Democrats need to listen to Hillary Clinton, Nancy LeTourneau notes, "by suggesting that she needs to shut up and go away, it’s clear that these folks aren’t interested in listening to what she has to say." Paul Waldman turned it around, starting his article this way:
Follow all those links and yes, you'll get articles in that tone about Hillary Clinton, not Biden, despite the fact that both of them have been giving plenty of speeches and interviews in the same time period.
Again, the shutting up of Sen. Harris was noted--as was the commonplace nature of this experience for all women. Susan Chira, writing in the New York Times, quoted Laura R. Walker, chief executive of New York Public Radio: “I think every woman who has any degree of power and those who don’t knows how it feels to experience what Kamala Harris experienced yesterday....To be in a situation where you’re trying to do your job and you’re either cut off or ignored.” And, from the Post: "Women of color 'understand what Kamala Harris is dealing with,' Tanzina Vega, a CNN reporter who covers race and inequality, wrote on Twitter. 'Raise your hand if you’ve been shushed, silenced, scolded, etc.'" Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and co-founder of Ellevest, shared That time I was told to sit down and shut up at Citi. So here we are again, discussing the silencing of women. And while 2017 appears to be on point to set some kind of a record in this department, I have to remind myself that it's "same as it ever was." As Mary Beard said at the very start of her wonderful lecture on The public voice of women, part of our Famous Speech Friday series:
I want to start very near the beginning of the tradition of Western literature, and its first recorded example of a man telling a woman to ‘shut up’; telling her that her voice was not to be heard in public. I’m thinking of a moment immortalised at the start of the Odyssey.
You'll find examples every week on this blog--so many that I've considered changing one of our top features from "Famous Speech Friday" to "Famous Silencing Friday:"
Bette Midler gives a long acceptance speech at the Tony Awards and the male host shames her for it.
In Hawaii, Rep. Beth Fukumoto loses her leadership post when she refuses to do what her party insisted on: That she remain silent, rather than disagree, on the topic of Donald Trump.
And that's just my short list of prominent and visible silencings in 2017, so far, darlings. But if it can happen to women who appear to have clear platforms for making themselves heard, we know it's happening to you.
I found a recent example that shows you're never too young to be silenced, if you're female. This 12-year-old girl is shown in the video below telling her Mormon assembly in Utah that she is gay...and is asked by one of the white men presiding to stop speaking mid-speech, after he turns off her microphone:
She's 12, people, and learning early in life what lies ahead.
As you can see at the end of the video, Savannah pulls an Elizabeth Warren and delivers the rest of her speech on YouTube. As I asked in Why (and how) you should publish your speeches: "If you give a speech, but don't take steps to publish or preserve it afterward, did you make a sound? The answer could be contributing inadvertently to silencing women all over the world." We live in an age when self-publishing couldn't be easier, and I hope more women who've been silenced--and those who get to speak--will take up this advantage so they can be heard not just once, but for all time. That little video went viral, and got Savannah all sorts of support.
I see three trends. One has been persistent throughout recorded history: Women get silenced, in many ways, over and over and over again. The second is that each successive generation of women hears these stories and thinks, "But that won't happen to me," charges out into the world, and eventually finds out that, indeed, the same thing has happened to her. Over and over again.
The third comes and goes in different periods of history: People are talking about that silencing, shining a spotlight on it.
We seem to be in one of those periods of talking about it, so let's talk, eloquent women. Keep calling it out...on the spot, if you can. Find other platforms. Keep noticing when it happens. And if that happens to be in your workplace meeting, rather than the U.S. Senate, speak up and say, "Actually, I would like Jane to finish her thought," or something that will keep another woman's voice on, rather than switched off. Keeping the pressure on may help raise a few more women's voices, and we can't have enough of that. (Creative Commons licensed photos of Kamala Harris by aSILVA and of Hillary Clinton by Kyle Taylor) Get involved in more conversations on public speaking with The Eloquent Woman. Follow our Facebook page, read great quotes from eloquent woman on Pinterest, or follow me as @dontgetcaught on Twitter. Learn how to be a better panel moderator with The Eloquent Woman's Guide to Moderating Panels.
Savvy speakers keep up with my wide-ranging reading list on women and public speaking by following The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where these links and articles appear first. I always collect them here for you on Mondays as well. It's a great way to expand your public speaking knowledge:
Why speak? GE Digital's Beena Ammanath shares Why I speak at conferences, a good reminder to reexamine your motivations for speaking.
